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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26433097">The Limitations of Initial Responses</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Treeni/pseuds/Treeni'>Treeni</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Soulmate September [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Loceit - Freeform, Loceitality - Freeform, M/M, Moceit - Freeform, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Moxiety, Platonic Prinxiety - Freeform, Platonic Relationships, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmates, Swearing, Virgil's a real champ in this i swear, except like that one logicality story?, logicality - Freeform, platonic creativetwins, platonic dukexiety - Freeform, when do I not have it?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:08:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,280</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26433097</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Treeni/pseuds/Treeni</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Day 7 - There is a string tied around your pinky that only you can see, the end of it leads to your soulmate.</p><p>Lomoceit</p><p>Since the events of "Putting Others First" Janus and Patton have been spending more time together. Logan disapproves.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Anxiety | Virgil Sanders &amp; Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders &amp; Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders &amp; Morality | Patton Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Deceit | Janus/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Soulmate September [7]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906129</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>133</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Limitations of Initial Responses</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Holy heck I am so behind. Personal stuff's come up, as it do, and these last few ones have ended up so long, like darn can I finish a story without it being like 8k? No? Darn. So yeah, I'll still be here working away, but no guarantees I'm finishing all of the prompts in September. I will strive to do my best though! Hopefully the next few don't end up quite so long.</p><p>Warning, this story has dun dun dunnnnn, IN-CHAPTER PERSPECTIVE SHIFTS! TWO OF THEM TOO! I know, near non-existent in my writing. There is a rare moment where you need to know something that protagonist doesn’t. It should be clear simply by reading the story through context, and the changes only happen at breaks, but if its confusing lemme know and I'll label them or something.</p><p>Unedited because my GOD this is much longer than it was supposed to be. Patton hit me with the feels train as he do.</p><p>Also, I was worried about the last fic, but ya'll seemed to be absolutely here for it cause it reached over 300 hits already. Like damn!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Stay away from Patton,” came Logan’s deep, nearly monotone drawl as Janus found himself fiddling with the brim of his hat. Janus bit the inside of his cheek to steel himself before turning around with a flourish.</p><p>“Why, Logan, I can’t say I have <em>any idea</em> what you mean.”</p><p>“Patton is struggling more than enough in his role as the heart, he needs a logical hand to help guide him,” Logan said crossing his arms. “Not a deceitful one.”</p><p>“Mmmm, because you and I both know that I don’t have <em>anything at all</em> to do with self-preservation, of the heart included,” Janus said, adjusting his hands to his hips and shifting his weight to one leg as he matched Logan’s stare. “What have you been doing recently to act as such a wonderful guide anyway, dear logic?”</p><p>“I was most effective in helping Thomas and the other sides handle Remus recently if I recall,” Logan said, crossing his arms and using his height to glare down at the shorter side. “In fact, I do not remember you having been a part of that conversation, a rare one that should have utilized your <em>particular</em> skill set, because you were too busy sulking.”</p><p>“<em>Handle</em> Remus-” Janus snorted, honesty tumbling from his lips for once. “Don’t pretend that you’re unaware that Remus <em>let</em> <em>himself</em> be handled-”</p><p>“A problem that would not have occurred at all had you protected Creativity as you should have from the beginning.”</p><p>“<em>Oh,</em>” Janus said and his eye twitched. He took a long stride straight into Logan’s personal space with a murderous look on his face. “Don’t you dare <em>start</em> with me <em>Logic</em>, you do <em>not</em> want to go down this rabbit hole. Or do you <em>not</em> want to talk about how just many times you and Patton were inadequate at helping Thomas because you tried to take my job, while prioritizing your own agendas?”</p><p>“This is exactly the sort of behavior that I mean,” Logan said. “Patton and I have found an effective balance in your absence and the very last thing he needs is you... ‘butting in’ and confusing him. I will <em>not</em> let you emotionally manipulate him Janus.”</p><p>“Patton and I <em>haven’t</em> come to an understanding of sorts, something you would be aware of if you spent less of your time showing off your ‘endless’ capacity of knowledge and more time acting as an effective Logic,” Janus said pushing an accusatory finger into Logan’s chest. “Then again, this isn’t even really about <em>Patton’s</em> well being now, is it?”</p><p>Janus was so close that the two were almost nose to nose but the atmosphere was barbarous, electric, and chaotic. It was as if the two stood alone at the eye of a storm in a misleading visual calm because the aura they radiated felt as if anything that approached the pair from the outside would have been absolutely ripped to shreds from the vicious edges of their words alone. Two colliding forces, each of which refused to be moved.</p><p>“You know, for someone who claims to be devoid of feelings, you seem to be having a lot of them right now,” Janus muttered, but the other side heard him perfectly this close.</p><p>Then the moment was over as Janus pulled away. It would look at first as if he had conceded the argument as he took a full step backwards, but then a smirk came over his features that exhibited the extra sharp canine on the snake side of his face.</p><p>“You, dear Logan, are jealous, aren’t you?”</p><p>Logan sputtered, his stone-cold resolve immediately falling away from him like armor breaking at the points of welding. He hadn’t moved from his spot, but his mouth opened and closed several times like a caught fish floundering in the open air as it tried to process this new strange environment that he couldn’t breathe in.</p><p>“The heart wants what the heart wants sweet Logic,” Janus said, readjusting his cape and spinning on his heels to head toward the door. Sometimes winning meant knowing exactly when to leave, after all. He did however, pause at the doorway on his way out. “If you truly think that you are better for Patton... well... I’d <em>hate</em> to watch you try and take him from me.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Oh, what an absolutely <em>beautiful </em>morning!</p><p>Patton grinned against the sun rays peeking in through his curtains and warming his cheeks. The dawn may have awakened him, but his heavy, sleep clouded eyes could still see from his place on his bed that an absolutely gorgeous day constructed itself out in the mindscape.</p><p>Thomas must be having a good morning.</p><p>Patton was so happy for him!</p><p>Patton was also just ...really happy in general recently to be totally honest? He smiled and hugged his favorite plush cat tight to his chest. This particular one always reminded him of Virgil, stitched in a black knit with blue button eyes. It reminded him so much of the dark, strange side that he sewed the plush its own little hoodie too. It wasn’t a perfect recreation, summoning as a non-creative side was always more limited. As the heart, he could only summon things Thomas had some kind of emotional connection to, but he made do. He created it a little patchwork garment that was a mixture of grey fabric with swatches of bat patterned purple fabric he had left over from a past Halloween. Though he had fond memories of the fabric’s source, it was always a little bittersweet to think about because it was from a time before Virgil or Janus or even Remus had re-joined them.</p><p>The thought made Patton hug the little cat plush tighter. He could use a real hug, but this would do for now. Patton took a deep breath in through his nose, held it for a moment, before releasing, setting the cat to live amongst his pillows in the same cycle of air. He pushed himself up with a big stretch of his arms over his head and proceeded to get ready for the day, even if his mood wasn’t quite as bright as it was when he first awoke. From there, his morning routine went smoothly and he was out his bedroom door in almost no time at all.</p><p>“Well good morning to you Janus!” Patton said cheerfully as he first exited his room to find the preservative side leaning against the wall with his ankles crossed, waiting up for him.</p><p>The first few mornings that Patton had found Janus out there waiting had startled the emotional side, but it was quickly established as a new routine. Janus was simply always there first thing in the morning to escort him to the kitchen where they would jointly prepare breakfast together.</p><p>Peculiarly enough, Logan had started a routine of escorting him to his room for bed around the same time.</p><p>He wondered what had gotten into them recently.</p><p>Were they worrying over him? It would make sense as their roles after all, Logic and Self-preservation, working together to keep an eye on the recently turbulent Heart.</p><p>Not that he minded particularly. It was kind of nice to be a little looked after sometimes.</p><p>“I suppose it is absolutely <em>dreadful</em> today isn’t it?” Janus asked with an amused twinkle in his eyes as he held out a single gloved hand out to Patton, palm side up.</p><p>Patton smiled gratefully in return and took the offering immediately. It was always so comforting to hold hands with someone wasn’t it?</p><p>Janus returned the smile, staring at their connected hands still held midair as he ran his thumb delicately over Patton’s. Then again, everything the scaled side did was delicate. He was meticulous in all things and Patton admired his dedication in even things that weren’t his natural area of expertise. Janus was no creativity, but he could absolutely match Roman in reciting lines from famous plays. His ability to debate philosophy with Logan was darn impressive too! Janus wasn’t like either of them though, he wasn’t given that information automatically and in turn tasked with interpreting it. No, he had to learn it all the old-fashioned way, the <em>human</em> way. It was truly amazing.</p><p>“Penny for your thoughts love?”</p><p>Patton let out a little gasp at the familiar pet name. “You haven’t called me that in ages.” Not since before Patton took his place as morality.</p><p>“Apologies, slip of the tongue,” Janus said and blepped at Patton in a way that never failed to make the emotional side grin. Janus seemed quite proud of the added pun or maybe it was just that he made Patton absolutely giggle, but then Patton thought his expression turned a little sad, maybe a little lost. “I suppose you <em>wouldn’t</em> want to leave those old days buried.”</p><p>“You’re right crux, I <em>wouldn’t</em> want to keep those buried,” Patton agreed with a smile, using Janus’ old nickname from when they were much younger. From a time before Creativity split.</p><p>Janus was the currently oldest side, so old in fact, that no one was certain who came first, he or Creativity. A baby’s first action in the world was to cry out for help and there was a reason for it. Self-preservation was at the very core of existence. The will to live was living itself. Patton knew that it was just the two of them for a few years too. Creativity was at the center of informational consumption of the world back then and Janus used that information. He established Thomas’ needs and wants that let others know how to keep the child healthy. King Creativity and his advisor only had each other in the beginning. Thomas was nearly two and a half before Logan emerged after the child finally grasped hold of the concept of “why”.</p><p>On that timeline, it would be a year still before Patton made an appearance.</p><p>That was all so long ago now, but Patton didn’t think he would ever forget the way that Janus had been his guiding star way back then. Like Janus, Patton surfaced with a cry. The difference was, that while Janus was a cry for oneself, Patton was a cry for someone else. It was really no surprise that two were fast friends. Logan and King were always so very busy in the early days, there was just endless things to learn, experience, and understand, they didn’t really have time for him. Back then though? He preferred Janus’ company over all others anyway.</p><p>They had simply seemed so very much alike back then. They were a pair through and through. Where the preservative side led, Patton followed and the two were nearly inseparable. Janus taught Patton how to take care of others through his actions in taking care of him. It was their viewpoints of that care that eventually revealed their differences. While Patton took care of Janus and the other sides because he genuinely liked taking care of others and urged Thomas to do the same, Janus took care of the other sides because he saw it as taking care of Thomas, and in turn, himself.</p><p>Patton wondered if that ever changed....</p><p>Not that he even had the moral high ground to stand on anymore.</p><p>“Think any harder love and Logan <em>won’t</em> start believing you’re trying to take his job,” a cheeky voice said.</p><p>Patton felt Janus let go of his hand and was a little disappointed. He didn’t get to hold hands a lot these days. Roman was... closing himself off recently. Virgil had already begun to avoid him even before then. Logan had always gone through phases of shutting the others away so it could be... well... a little lonely sometimes, especially recently. Patton was just a little disappointed by the lack of contact until the lost hand had found its way around his waist just as they entered the kitchen.</p><p>“You know me, memories are part of the territory of the heart and all,” Patton said with a nervous laugh that had Janus squeezing him slightly.</p><p>It felt... really nice. Confusing, but nice.</p><p>The pressure was soothing and it had been a long while since anyone had been willing to give him anything close to a hug. Patton found himself surprised by just how much he wanted to dive into that grip and be held and not let go, but what was most surprising of all was Janus using his position to pull Patton just a little bit closer.</p><p>Maybe... maybe Janus was a little touch starved too. It couldn’t have been very comforting, out in the dark of the subconscious after all.</p><p>Patton was just slightly taller than Janus, but when he looked up to see Janus staring at him so... so... meaningfully, he felt so very small.</p><p>“This time, Patton... love... if you’re going to get lost in your memories,” Janus started, reaching up to readjust some of the curls that sat funny on his frames. <em>“Take me with you.</em>”</p><p>“Janus I... I mis-”</p><p>“Has the coffee already been prepared?” Logan’s voice cut in suddenly, just behind Patton’s form and it felt as if he jumped a foot in the air in shock.</p><p>Patton moved from Janus’s side to grip the counter from the sudden racing. Gosh he was not built for this kind of surprise. As the heart, he was... shucks, nearly the least equipped to withstand a <em>heart attack</em> with only Virgil beating him out in his position of literal anxiety. Then again, Virgil was liable to attack if surprised in that sort of way. Patton though? He was more likely to just like... fall over or something. With a quick breath in and then back out again in an attempt to resettle the funny little fluttery sensation he was feeling, Patton dodged between his two recent overseers and straight for the machine.</p><p>“Not yet, Logan but I can get it going for you!”</p><p>Patton gripped the coffee pot with both hands like it was a lifeline and moved to fill it up at the sink. He had to push between the two other occupants of the room to do so and noticed they... well... they were sharing <em>some</em> kinda look.</p><p>That couldn’t be good.</p><p>Was this an intervention?</p><p>Patton swallowed as he turned on the water, and resisted the urge to grip the counter again for support. If they thought he was unstable, the very last thing he needed was to give them more proof of it. He was... he was okay... things were just a little difficult recently, but he was <em>okay</em>.</p><p>He was.</p><p>Logan stood in his path as he Patton turned around, water-filled coffee pot in hand. He tried to side-step him to get back to the machine and finish his task, but found himself stopped before he had even begun as Logan placed a hand on his shoulder.</p><p>“I appreciate you Patton,” Logan murmured and leaned down, leaving a soft, <em>slow</em> kiss on his forehead.</p><p>It was chaste, but Patton felt a jolt run all the way down to his toes.</p><p>That was... that was new.</p><p>Sorta new at least.</p><p>There were a handful of times Patton could remember Logan giving him affectionate kisses, mainly late nights when the serious side was too tired to keep up all of his walls. Logan had... well, Logan had been completely wrung out in Thomas’ time in college. Patton knew the Logical side loved every minute of it, but it wore on him. Constant late nights were spent studying with very precious little sleep.</p><p>Patton did what he could to keep his friend from completely burning out. His only remaining friend really. As truly wonderful as Roman was, the prince looked to him as a guide and Patton did his very best to embody the parental figure he needed. Meanwhile, he started making meals for the three sides that still remained. Even Roman was becoming especially busy at that time, after all, with Thomas making vines. Patton would try to take on all of the little tasks he could, straightening their space, taking to his room what would only get in the other two’s way. He just... wanted to help where he could.</p><p>Some nights that meant bringing Logan a second or third cup of coffee or more as he helped Thomas through some particularly grueling study sessions as finals approached. And sometimes? Once in a great while, Patton would be rewarded by an exhausted Logan giving him a tiny kiss on his knuckles coupled with a rare, soft smile graced his way. However, it was always, <em>always</em> in the privacy of Logan’s own room, away from the prying eyes of the others. Not in the open kitchen and especially not in front of-</p><p>“-but I can take it from here,” Logan finished, taking the coffee pot from his hands.</p><p>Oh.</p><p>Patton dropped his hands to his sides, not at all certain what to do with them now. He was... oh gosh he was a little too in his head right now wasn’t he? Memories... memories could make everything so difficult couldn’t they? He felt a little light headed from it all.</p><p>“Patton, love, you look positively <em>well</em>,” Janus said, tipping Patton’s chin up and out of his own hands. “Go get some rest okay? I absolutely <em>can’t</em> handle things here.”</p><p>Patton hadn’t even realized that he had been holding his head, until Janus was doing it for him. He felt... he felt odd, like his throat was tight. He wasn’t certain if he wanted to laugh or cry or just go back to bed. Then again, his room could be dangerous right now if he was this overwhelmed, particularly for Thomas. His host didn’t need Patton’s overly emotional state bleeding into and melding with Thomas’ state right now.</p><p>The emotional side nodded, dazed, and accepted two gloved hands taking his own and guiding him to the living room couch, without completely comprehending what was happening around him anymore.</p><p>“Rest tight here love,” Janus said, with that same meaningful look that Patton didn’t understand. “I <em>wont</em> bring you some breakfast in just a little while, okay?”</p><p>Then, Janus leaned down and pressed a kiss to his cheekbone whilst simultaneously wrapping his cape around Patton’s shoulders before pulling away.</p><p>For a moment... a tiny moment, Patton felt warmth bloom through him.</p><p>But then... as he listlessly watched Janus’ retreating figure...</p><p>He felt cold.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Patton? Could I ask your assistance in overviewing Thomas’ current schedule?” Logan asked as he stepped into the garden that Patton was attending to. “I need to make certain that I am not missing anything pivotal,”</p><p>Roman had created the garden as a birthday present for the emotional side ages ago by harnessing the imagination somehow. Patton didn’t completely understand it, but It was one of the few places “outside” that was almost bubbled into a sort of stagnation that allowed the plants to grow more like the ones in reality, separated from the ever-shifting landscape of the mindscape.</p><p>“You... need <em>my</em> help?” Patton asked blinking. His hands went slack in his surprise and he actually dropped the small trowel he was holding.</p><p>They both looked toward the little tool after it landed with a ‘<em>chunk’ </em>sound.</p><p>Logan wordlessly stepped over the basket of vegetables that Patton had been harvesting so he was standing just in front of Patton’s knelt form.</p><p>Technically they didn’t need to eat at all, but the human-like existence they’ve been created into left them feeling weakened from the effects of malnourishment without it. Technically the kitchen was also always stocked with whatever they needed. Sort of. The kitchen was limited to what Thomas had tasted before so there were occasional limitations to what could be prepared. However, there was something about the fresh taste of vegetables he grew himself that had Patton attending his little garden all year long.</p><p>Logan reached out both hands to Patton in offering, but Patton didn’t really know what to do with the offer?</p><p>He looked down at his soil covered hands and knew that Logan’s affinity for neatness would normally keep the Logical side from even coming near him while he was so dirty, much less offering to touch hands that had literally been digging through the mud. Patton tried quickly to brush them as clean as he could without a cloth or water source to truly be effective, but Logan caught his wrists and slid his hands up until Patton’s still slightly discolored fingers were gripped in his own. He kept his forearms absolutely steady as a cue for the emotional side to pull himself up with Logan taking some of the weight as his physical stabilizer.</p><p>Once the two sides stood face to face, Logan’s hands found their way up to the sides of Patton’s shoulders as he stared down with a look that was serious and... desperate? Reaching maybe? It was like asking something of Patton from his eyes alone, it’s just that the emotional side didn’t know what the question was.</p><p>“Patton, I need you to understand,” Logan said, and Patton swallowed at the weighty tone. “That I will <em>always</em> need your help.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Escape with me today,” a smooth voice whispered into Patton’s ear suddenly and there he went, jumping again.</p><p>Remus had sworn he had ruled out basically every way a human could die, but darn it if Patton didn’t <em>feel</em> as if he was going to keel over soon from all of these little shocks. One minute Patton would be there minding his own business as he worked away sorting through Thomas treasured memories -to pick out what to keep most closely to the heart and what to put away- and the next he’d just slump over the table completely gonzo because he <em>couldn’t take it anymore.</em></p><p>Before Patton could even recover, Janus had slid into the seat directly next to Patton. The emotional side’s place at the table didn’t leave much room at all on that side so Janus was close enough their thighs were touching. He was just about to slide over to give the man a bit more room when Janus simply wrapped an arm around Patton’s shoulders instead.</p><p>“Well?”</p><p>“I... what?” Patton asked, a little dazed. The pointer finger absentmindedly tapping against his shoulder was a little, <em>very</em> distracting.</p><p>“A picnic, in the imagination, a in a little section that <em>everyone </em>knows about,” Janus informed him with an enthusiastic smile that simply lit up his face. It had been such a long time since Patton had seen his dimples... well dimple? The scales covered the other side now. “It <em>won’t</em> be just like the old days.”</p><p>Patton found himself agreeing more with the words that were said than the sentiment behind them. It <em>wouldn’t</em> be just like the old days. How <em>could </em>it? Just... so much has changed.</p><p>“I dunno Janus, I’ve got a lot to do still...” It wasn’t a lie per say. Thomas’ emotional state had been... rocky since the last episode, particularly with Roman’s near silence. There were so <em>so </em>many emotions and Patton had been working hard to sift through them all, trying to figure out what was worth holding on to.</p><p>“Because Thomas will <em>absolutely collapse</em> because you took a few hours to rest from your tireless work love,” Janus teased, placing his chin in his palm as he waited for a response. He looked positively amused, but Patton knew better than to assume it was from belittlement. It had simply been his way of showing affection, ever since they were kids, not unlike Roman’s affectionate jabs.</p><p>“I really shouldn’t...” Patton said with a wince. It really did sound quite lovely. “You know how unstable everything has been around here recently. I know my jobs not exactly the most important in the mindscape, but it helps the others' focus and if there’s anything I can do to help, well then I really should.”</p><p>Patton gestured to the array of small pictures and objects scattered across the table in front of him, as well as the ever-shifting book that housed the many little things that were most important to Thomas. Many things cycled through the book, in and out as new items were added. However, some things were permanent fixtures.</p><p>“Is... is that the ribbon I gave you?” Janus asked, wide eyed and the slightest tinge of pink on the human side of his face. “The first day of kindergarten you encouraged Thomas to try and make a friend, but when he tried she stuck her tongue out.”</p><p>Patton slammed the book closed and pulled it close. He may have let himself get a little distracted from work after all.</p><p>“Um yeah,” Patton admitted, looking down. “You tried to cheer me up and... and it was nice.”</p><p>Patton only felt the heat of embarrassment spread when Janus pulled his arm away to ruffle his hair once. However, more shock replaced it (yet somehow unsurprisingly, shock just lives here now) when Patton caught sight of Janus slipping off his gloves and carefully setting them to the side.</p><p>“How can I help?”</p><p>“You... want to help me with scrap booking?” Patton asked and couldn’t help it when his head tilted slightly at the notion.</p><p>“Well, the sooner we get through this, the sooner I can <em>steal you away</em> of course.”</p><p>“Are you certain you don’t want to just go without me? I’m sure Remus would be more than happy to join you. Plus, I really have no idea how long this all will take.”</p><p>It really could take quite a while. He had been absolutely overrun recently. Plus, while Janus was better than most at taking rest periods for himself, Patton knew how dedicated Janus was in his own work. He didn’t want to ruin his reprieve from his duties with <em>more</em> work.</p><p>“Patton, love, for you? I <em>can’t</em> wait.”</p>
<hr/><p>A few days had passed since what Patton had mentally deemed “the coffee incident” and the emotional side was... well... Patton didn’t really know what he was to be honest. Patton was confused. He was being showered in small, affectionate gestures from the two most reserved sides and he just... wasn’t exactly certain what to do with it... or about it?</p><p>Every small brush of fingers against his back, every small encouraging whisper, and every small kiss to his fingers or shoulder or face... it all just felt so, <em>so</em> wonderful.</p><p>Except... something about it felt wrong... like he shouldn’t let himself get used to it.</p><p>Like it was temporary.</p><p>Especially the cuddling.</p><p>The cuddling was far too sweet, and far too good, and far too painful to bear. Yet he craved it all the more.</p><p>Patton spent most of his evenings in the quiet of the common room with a warm drink to sooth him into a restful state. Sometimes he’d have a book, sometimes the others would join him and they’d watch a movie together, and sometimes he’d simply scroll through silly cat pictures on his phone.</p><p>Lately though?</p><p>His routine had changed slightly.</p><p>It wasn’t really about <em>what</em> he did that was so drastically different. He still watched movies or read books or played on his phone most nights. It had more to do with the fact that he was suddenly finding himself being held as he did those activities. It was just that most nights now he found an arm around his shoulders or back or waist. One night Janus even pulled Patton’s arm around himself and simply curled into Patton’s side. He nearly always had either the preservative or logical side tucked in next to him nowadays, one night it had been both. It worked out at least, Logan always sat to his left side and Janus to his right, so there theoretically shouldn’t have been any problems. Patton however? He felt tense the whole evening.</p><p>Something about the air felt oddly... electric?</p><p>Patton shook his head of the thought. Both sides were experts at diverting his questions on what was going on. So the only thing he could do was to wait for them to be comfortable enough to approach him about it. He wasn’t sure he was ready for it, whatever it was, but he was resolved to do his best to face it head on. Otherwise, Patton didn’t know how long he could stand this constant state of puzzlement.</p><p><em>They</em> were the ones who liked puzzles, and chess, and all of the other competitive things that Patton really had no interest in participating in. He wished they would just tell him the answer already and get it over with because wondering was <em>awful</em>.</p><p>When Patton stepped into the common room however, he was faced with a different problem.</p><p>Well not a <em>problem </em>per say, because that implied it was something bad. This was good, wonderful really! Patton could feel his heart overflowing with warm at the sight.</p><p>There on the couch were Virgil, Roman, and Remus. Roman was tucked into Virgil’s side, as if searching for comfort, while Virgil had both of his arms looped around his shoulders. Remus was a little more sprawled out and hung halfway off the couch with his head against Virgil’s stomach. One of Remus’ legs was stretched across the other sides’ laps and the other was up on the coffee table. It was almost as if Remus were acting as a physical barrier for Roman and Virgil against the rest of the world.</p><p>He was just happy to see them so relaxed for the first time in so long, even if it was without his help.</p><p>Patton forced down the sob that tried to bubble out of him as he thought back to all of the time Roman and Virgil had spent avoiding him recently. The urge only worsened when he thought about how long he had pushed Remus away.</p><p>He hadn’t been fair to them.</p><p>Any of them.</p><p>Patton pushed down another wave of melancholy. All he could do was try his best in the here and now. He had more than enough material to reminisce about in his room with many happier memories to let himself get lost in than his regrets surrounding the youngest three sides.</p><p>Patton quietly tiptoed to the small trunk in the corner of the room that housed a variety of extra blankets and pillows and other soft things that were handy to have close by for their joint movie nights. He pulled out three pillows and the very <em>biggest, fluffiest</em> blanket he could find and carted it all back to the sleeping sides as quietly as he could manage. He could see Virgil’s eyebrows knit for a moment after the trunk lid closed slightly louder than he intended, but then he simply pulled Roman just that much closer and let himself relax once more. At least he didn’t need to worry much about the twins, they’ve always had a habit of going into an absolute comatose state when sleeping.</p><p>Setting all of the soft materials aside, Patton carefully put a hand onto Remus’ back and the other underneath his knee’s before carefully sliding him more fully onto the couch. The position he was in before absolutely would have left the Duke in pain that he would smile through as he always did. Still, after everything, if there was something Patton could do for him? Well... then he wanted to. The moment Remus was tucked against Virgil’s side, he immediately clung to the anxious side and pulled the other two down with him as he sprawled out on the couch length.</p><p>“Amazing,” a voice breathed quietly to his side and this time Patton didn’t technically jump, but his arms did flail slightly as he tried very hard to not alert the sleeping sides.</p><p>Just how in the hecky heck was Janus so quiet all of the time?</p><p>“I don’t think I’ve ever seen those two look quite that peaceful,” Janus muttered as Patton carefully removed their shoes before stretching the blanket across the three sleeping bodies. “Virgil’s really flourished under your care.”</p><p>“I dunno know about <em>that,</em>” Patton replied, matching Janus’ low volume as he gently lifted the anxious side’s head to tuck a pillow underneath. He didn’t want to disturb him anymore than necessary, but he couldn’t quite fight down the urge to brush Virgil’s bangs out of his face. Seemingly still asleep, Virgil’s mouth quirked in the tiniest smile in return and Patton found he felt overwhelmed with his love for them all.</p><p>It wasn’t fair though.</p><p>It wasn’t fair at all for Patton to be stealing these little crumbs of affirmation and care when he knew that awake, Virgil would never smile at him that way.</p><p>Not anymore at least.</p><p>Patton swallowed and quickly repeated the process with the creative sides. Roman barely responded at all beyond a breathy sigh and Remus gave some kind of slightly predatory snort before moving his head to lay against Virgil anyway. At least the pillow would be supporting his shoulders....</p><p>Janus was right about one thing though, they really did look absolutely peaceful together. Maybe it was the fact that Virgil and Remus had grown up together or maybe Remus was simply happy to be reunited with his brother or maybe it was even just that Roman finally wasn’t quite so alone after so many years... but Patton had never seen them quite so peaceful before either.</p><p>He should have never let them be separated.</p><p>“Shhh, Patton? What’s wrong love?” Janus asked and instantly wrapped an arm around his back before leading him toward the kitchen and away from the sleeping sides as tears started to race down his cheeks.</p><p>“I-I-I,” Patton started to babble incoherently as sobs tried to work their way up his throat. He pushed them down. He had to <em>tell </em>him.</p><p>“Hey, shhh, shhh, Patton, love, you’re okay, everything is okay,” Janus said, guiding Patton to lay against his shoulder and led Patton through the gentlest of waltzes that was more sway than true step.</p><p>“N-no... it-it-its not,” Patton managed to force out between the sobs he hadn’t quite fought away yet and the hiccups that had surfaced as a result. “I... I’m <em>bad</em>.”</p><p>Janus pulled back and blinked, an incredulous look on his face as he stared directly at the the sobbing side.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Get <em>away</em> from him!” a low, dangerous voice growled as Logan shoved himself between Patton and Janus, tucking the crying side against his back. He turned to Janus with a dark stare. “W<em>hat</em> did you say to him?”</p><p>Oh this was all going so <em>wrong</em>! Logan just... just didn’t <em>understand</em>.</p><p>The sheer, overwhelming helplessness only built as Patton found he <em>couldn’t</em> tell him. He couldn’t form words at all. Every time he tried it felt like lungs shook and he could barely suck in any air at all to get the words out with.</p><p>It was all so <em>wrong.</em></p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Janus stood his ground against Logan, refusing to be moved again. He could almost feel his staff ghosting his gloved hand, just a summon away should it come to that.</p><p>Logan would <em>not</em> be taking Patton from him, not a second time.</p><p>“How very <em>logical </em>of you Logan, simply barging into a situation you know <em>everything</em> about,” Janus spat, digging his heels into the floor in case Logan tried to shove him again.</p><p>Smaller or not? He would <em>not </em>be moved.</p><p>“Oh yes, because there was so much to decipher about you reducing Patton to tears,” Logan bit back with a scoff. “Have you not done <em>enough</em> damage already?”</p><p>“<em>You don’t undersssstand anything,</em>” Janus warned, his tone taking on a hard edge as the predatory side of him started to surface more.</p><p>“I understand <em>more</em> than enough to know just what you are doing,” Logan replied immediately, not in the slightest bit moved by the unspoken threat.</p><p>The two sides stood there, sizing each other up with dark looks. Had it been another situation, both sides would have been the first to bow out as neither preferred to engage in unnecessary violence. Logan found physical fights to be pointless most of the time and would simply rather outwit someone. Janus’ self-preservation prevented him ever truly wanting to engage in a fight, preferring to simply talk his way out of a battle.</p><p>However, this was not <em>another</em> situation.</p><p>There was a static in the air and while neither side had moved yet, both were so <em>very</em> close to summoning their weapons. Janus could feel it. It was as if the objects were only a whisper away.</p><p>“Padre?” a voice whispered in unmitigated worry.</p><p>“What the <em>HELL</em> are you two doing to him?!” came the dark, cutting tones of the anxious side.</p><p>“<em>Wooow</em>!” chimed the final voice with a hollow laugh.</p><p>The tension in the air immediately broke as Janus and Logan both turned to the entrance way. The three remaining sides stood, Virgil emanating a downright <em>dangerous</em> aura as Roman simply pushed past him and straight to Patton, who somewhere in the argument had moved from behind Logan to curl up in the ball with his arms around his knees on the floor.</p><p>Roman reached out to Patton who flinched at the sight of the creative twin and his uncontrolled babbling only renewed its vigor.</p><p>“<em>So-so-sor-so-sorry-so-sor-sorrysorrysorry-my fault-’m bad-badbadbadbadbadbad-”</em></p><p>With a glance at Logan, Janus realized that <em>neither of them had noticed.</em></p><p>“And here I thought <em>I </em> was good at upsetting him, but you two have really turned it into an <em>art,</em>” Remus spat and followed Roman’s lead, straight to Patton’s side where he started to list off the instructions to calm down Janus had taught to him and Virgil so very long ago.</p><p>Virgil followed them, but kept his standing position as he reached down and brushed his hand once over Patton’s messy curls. “It’s going to be okay popstar, promise.”</p><p>“V-virgil?” Patton’s cracking voice managed to ask and all at once it was like the spell over him was broken as he simply slumped over in Roman’s arms, looking <em>absolutely exhausted</em>.</p><p>At that, Virgil turned and the glare he leveled both Janus and Logan with was downright <em>murderous.</em> Every instinct of self-preservation was alarming for Janus to run right then and there, but... he couldn’t run from this.</p><p>Not if he didn’t want to absolutely destroy all of the progress he’s made.</p><p>“Roman, do you think you can carry him?” Virgil asked across the room, not even blinking to break the glare he’d set on Logan and Janus.</p><p>Without a word, Roman simply scooped Patton up into his arms, looping Patton’s arms around his neck for support. Patton curled into the hold and immediately buried his face into Roman’s neck as he dug his fingers into the fabric of his tunic.</p><p>“<em>I’m sorry, I’m sorry-” </em></p><p>Roman hushed him, using the hand supporting the emotional side’s back to rub soothing circles against it.</p><p>“Remus, help take Patton back to Roman’s room. He needs somewhere he can calm down,” Virgil commanded.</p><p>Remus gave Virgil a lazy salute in response and grabbed the cat hoodie that had fallen to the floor in Patton’s convulsions. He kept close to his brother with hands out at the ready in case Roman’s grip started to falter.</p><p>“Surely my room would be the-” Logan started, but was cut off as Virgil’s entire glare was aimed his way.</p><p>“<em>Not another word from you,</em>” Virgil declared, his voice echoing just slightly as his tempest voice started to leak through. “I will follow you both soon, but I have some things to settle here first.”</p><p>The twins both nodded and moved toward the exit. Remus shoulder-checked Logan, but what really hurt was judgmental side-glance and sneer he sent in Janus’ direction as he passed the snake on his way out the door.</p><p>When Remus started judging you, you know you went too far.</p><p>Janus couldn’t ponder on it too much because Virgil’s deadly stare was trained back on him, going back and forth between him an Logan as if he were trying to decide who was more at fault for the situation and who would be destroyed first.</p><p>“What ever this is,” Virgil started, taking slow, predatory steps in their direction until he stood directly in front of the two of them. “<em>Whoever’s</em> fault this is, it stops here. Right now.”</p><p>Janus and Logan shared a quick guilty gaze before Virgil gave them one last glare before pushing between them and simultaneously shoving them both out of his way to get to Patton.</p><p>God they fucked up didn’t they?</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Janus and Logan stood in front of a red door.</p><p>It was a door neither side had dared trying to knock on yet. Janus found himself wriggling his gloved hands while Logan paced. He would walk ten steps, stop, turn, and then simply walk in the other direction. As Janus watched him, it didn’t help his guilty hands stop in his own anxious habit and instead he only found his hands moving in time with Logan’s feet.</p><p>“So what do we do?” Logan asked, suddenly turning his way.</p><p>That... was not at all a question he was expecting to be directed his way.</p><p>“I <em>wasn’t</em> just about to ask you the very same thing,” Janus admitted, and grabbed his elbows with his hands, trying to stop the incessant fidgeting.</p><p>“But you <em>always</em> have a plan.”</p><p>“And you’re <em>not</em> supposed to be the one with all the answers right?”</p><p>Logan huffed at him and went back to his pacing.</p><p>Janus fought down a groan. It’s this, isn’t it?</p><p>“We’re the problem,” Janus said simply.</p><p>“I <em>know</em>, but we still have to figure out just what it <em>is</em>,” Logan said, seemingly misunderstanding Janus’ rare honestly.</p><p>“No, Logan, I mean it. It’s us,” Janus said honestly, reaching forward to grab Logan’s arms and effectively stop him in his place. “Did either of us stop to even ask Patton how he was doing, how he was <em>coping</em> after everything?”</p><p>“I-” Logan started and he pushed his shoulders back defensively, but then something in his eyes seemed to click and all of the steam started to slowly drain from him as his form began to relax. “No. No I did not.”</p><p>“We have to make this right.”</p><p>Logan seemed to understand the honesty in his words for once because he seemed to swallow down whatever it was that he <em>wanted</em> to say and simply gave a serious nod in return.</p><p>What Janus wasn’t expecting, was for Logan to reach for his hand, either to give or receive support, Janus wasn’t certain which.</p><p>Maybe both.</p><p>The door opened before either side had the chance to reach forward to knock.</p><p>There stood Remus and Roman, weapons at the ready as they aimed matching glares their way. It was truly surreal to see the twins look so <em>very</em> much alike.</p><p>“Come to finally beg for forgiveness?” Remus asked, a manic twinge to his voice that made it clear he was ready to whack them at the literal drop of a hat, probably Janus’ hat specifically.</p><p>“Virgil said he could feel your anxiety drop,” Roman informed them, twirling his sword in his grip as the edges caught the light dangerously. His tone was deeper, as if he were holding down an absolute <em>roar.</em></p><p>It was as if they were <em>trying</em> to re-induce the anxiety Janus and Logan had only just managed to quell some.</p><p>Past the two, sat Virgil on Roman’s bed with Patton tucked into his arms. Patton was shaking slightly as he stared directly their way with big, fearful eyes that made Janus’ heart absolutely <em>shatter</em> to see aimed in his direction.</p><p>“We have come to apologize,” Logan said and Janus was impressed with how steady his voice was considering how his hand quaked in their shared grip. Janus nodded in agreement, not trusting his own voice to be nearly as coherent.</p><p>“Yeah?” Virgil asked, his tone no less poisonous than hours before when the trio first escorted Patton away. “And what exactly do you think even gives you the <em>right</em>?”</p><p>The ‘r’ sound in the last word had a bite of a hiss to it as he simply glared their way and only pulled Patton closer.</p><p>Those two seemed to have worked things out at the very least.</p><p>Janus was glad that Patton at least had that support. Though, when Logan squeezed his hand, Janus was pretty thankful to have that support too. He wasn’t sure he could have done this by himself.</p><p>All expressions in the room turned to surprise however when Patton’s quiet, croaky voice simply said, “Virgil?... Can we have some space to talk?”</p><p>Virgil didn’t immediately let go, nor did the twins lower their weapons, but every person in the room turned to Patton, waiting for cues on what to do, what was best for him.</p><p>“Thank you for worrying about me,” Patton said, gently bopping his head against Virgil’s with a friendly smile, despite the tears still staining his face. He turned forward, looking to his guards as well. “Roman, Remus, thank you to you both too, for everything. I know... I know I’ll never be able to make up for-”</p><p>“Shut it,” Remus said bonking him lightly on the shoulder with the handle of his morningstar, despite Virgil’s glare.</p><p>“You’ve already been forgiven Padre,” Roman declared, sheathing his sword before giving a graceful bow, though Remus hooked his foot under Roman’s ankle before he could stand again, causing the prince to fall forward.</p><p>“Show off.”</p><p>Virgil looked amused, while Patton looked absolutely horrified by the brothers antics, but the anxious side simply shook his head and turned back to the heart, placing a hand on each shoulder with a strong, encouraging grip.</p><p>“You sure you’re gonna be okay Pat?”</p><p>Patton gave a watery smile and nodded. Virgil seemed to accept the answer. He put a hand behind Patton’s head and pulled him in before pressing their foreheads together. The two shared several seconds of what could only be described as pure human connection before Virgil released him and offered a hand to Roman, while snagging Remus by the sash.</p><p>“Let’s give them some space.”</p><p>And with that, the trio was gone. Janus wasn’t certain if he felt more or less nervous now that there was absolutely nothing standing between him and a Patton who looked absolutely <em>broken</em>.</p><p>Logan however, seemed to need no further prompting as he immediately surged forward, pulling Janus along with him. He dropped to his knees in front of the bed and finally released Janus to instead take Patton’s hand in both of his and pressed his forehead against Patton’s arm.</p><p>Janus mirrored Logan’s knelt position, but didn’t dare to be so presumptuous as to reach for him.</p><p>It was Patton who reached for him, if even in just a small way. He lightly grabbed for Janus’ hand, closing his grip around the ends of Janus’ fingers.</p><p>It was enough.</p><p>Janus laid his remaining hand on Patton’s knee, squeezing it gently in return.</p><p>“I missed you, you know,” Janus said, still looking at Patton’s hand gripping his own. “Patton... I... I didn’t intend to hurt you.”</p><p>He finally chanced a glance at Patton’s face and felt himself breaking inside at the watery eyes that met his stare.</p><p>“I was simply terrified of losing you again.”</p><p>A few stray tears escaped Patton’s eyes and Janus reached up wipe them away with his gloved fingers. Logan mirrored the motions despite having no covering on his hands.</p><p>“I too was... defensive.... Between my ‘lowdowns’ being skipped and your recent association with Janus... it seemed... it <em>felt</em> as if you were slipping through my fingers and I-” Logan said, burying his face against Patton’s chest. “I <em>can’t</em> lose you.”</p><p>Patton didn’t say anything at first. His jaw hung open and he looked absolutely speechless. Janus was certain his hands would be covering his mouth had they not already been claimed. Patton closed his mouth and Janus could hear him swallow. However, then he simply blinked and when he opened his eyes, they absolutely <em>glowed</em>.</p><p>The room was bathed in a cool, cyan light, emanating from Patton and making him appear absolutely ethereal, <em>beautiful</em>, as the light only contrasted and accentuated the warm pink tones of his skin. It lasted several seconds as white, glowing strings seemed to glitter into existence. Patton had one tied to each of his pinkies, the one on his left hand connecting to Logan and the one on his right hand linking with Janus’ own.</p><p>What was most stupefying of all was the third string that also connected Janus’ remaining pinky to Logan’s.</p><p>When the lights slowly faded away, strings included, Patton simply squeezed the hands that were holding his own.</p><p>“Logan, Janus, I will forever admire how brilliant you both are,” Patton said, guiding each of their hands, Logan’s right and Janus’ left, and left a single kiss on each of their palms. “But you were silly to think you could ever lose me. The mind, heart, and soul were always, <em>always</em> meant to be intertwined.”</p><p>“How... how did you... how long have you known?” Logan asked the question that raised to the forefront of Janus’ thoughts, along with, <em>‘Why didn’t you tell us sooner?’</em></p><p>“I’m the heart of course, love is my domain,” Patton said, pulling his hand out of Logan’s grip to instead run his fingers against the Logical side’s jaw. He mirrored the action with Janus, but Janus immediately met the touch, cradling the hand on his face with his own. “I’ve always been able to see the strings. I was simply waiting for you to be ready for it.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oh yea, if you didn't notice in my last story because you didn't read it and/or the endnote was a mile long, I have a tumblr. Same username. You can come say hi, generally bug me, or even yell at me if that's what you want. I generally keep my ask box open and I can infodump about any of these stories forever. </p><p>This story is part of the <a>LLF Comment Project</a>, which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:</p><p>Feedback</p><ul>
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